Haven't Found.....

A couple of months ago, I felt like I was ready. I felt like there was a renewed interest in finding a partner. I felt like the time had arrived to finally open up the opportunity to build a relationship with someone. Pos que creen?

Before I jump to the end of my story and tell you what I found, I figured I’d share a lil about the quest to my ending. I’ve never been the life of the party and meeting potential boyfriends have always been somewhat of a problem. I’m too reserved for my own good, well at least at the beginning I am, but that first impression really scares off a lot of guys. I decided on a different route: eHarmony.

Mmm hmmm. You read that right. I really put a lot of thought into taking that step to actually pay to find myself a match. And right after I clicked on that button that started my subscription, I regretted it. Somehow, deep in my gut, I knew I wasn’t going to be putting that much effort into getting to know the men on there. Every morning, I’d wake up to seven new matches. I’d scroll thru their profiles, reading up on their lives. I can’t say that any of them interested me all that much. I never initiated any type of communication with any of them, and when they did request communication, I’d constantly put it off, thinking I’d get to it later. Well, that supposed later never arrived.

My subscription ended and I didn’t bother to renew. What did I learn? One: I paid that money for nothing. Two: I’m not ready to find a partner. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been dating but to say that I’ve met someone who’s really captured my attention….I can’t say that. It’s not to say that I haven’t met men who are worth it; I’ve actually met some great men, but my heart’s not in it. I can honestly be pretty cold and distant with them…and it’s not to say that I feel bad about that.

So, in conclusion, I am still single and it’s due to it being my choice. I’ve made progress in these last two years but I’ve still got work to do.  But, deep down inside, I feel like everything will fall into place when I finally meet a guy that’s made for me. Yea, yea, sounds kinda sappy but it’s what I believe.

Until then, my adventures in the dating world will only serve as material for either a lesson learned or an interesting post.  Whichever of the two, I’ll be sure to let u know…whether you wanna know or not.

J