Daily Living

"Hey, I found a song that reminds me of you." My friend drags me into his office so he can show me the video.

"How does this song remind you of me?" I ask him as I give him back his phone.

With a smile from ear to ear, he says, "People make all different kinds of assumptions about you and most are probably wrong. But at the end of the day, whether they're right or wrong, you don't really give a crap."

Aah, my dear friend, he sure has a way with words.

Christmas 2011

Hi there.

Well Christmas has come and gone. It passed by quick, huh. It was a great one. I kinda made up for having missed out on the Halloween stuff (damn baseball).

We got to see all the cartoon specials. I totally recommend all the oldies but my absolute favs would have to be A Charlie Brown Christmas and Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas. Those two hit some strong chords in my beaten up heart. Of course, I ain't saying that Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol, Mickey's Christmas Carol, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and The Year Without a Santa Claus are chopped liver. Those are some fantastic toons...but Charlie Brown and Emmet symbolize my dad's fervent teachings that the season is meant to be more than just about presents. 

We got to go drive around Laredo to see other people's Christmas lights display. I remember when we were kids, on a chilly night, my mom would put on our pj's and bundle up in our coats and pile us into our dad's 1979 Capric Classic. My dad would rotate between two cassettes: John Denver and the Muppets A Christmas Together and some other kid friendly Christmas carols. He'd usually stick close to the west side cuz he said there was more spirit there than in the rich neighborhoods where they hired people to string up the lights. At the end of the night, we'd hit STARS for some burgers or foot-long dogs. This time, seven of us squeezed into his 1999 Ford Taurus (how we fit, I really don't know) and we drove around the city. We joked, oohed and awed, and had a jolly ol' time. STARS was still our go-to spot at the end of the night.          

Our House

The Competition

We got to bake cookies. I pride myself on my baking skills but due to lack of planning and time, I had to buy the just add water stuff. The cookies weren't really up to par, but the kiddo had a great time. This time she was finally able to join in the fun. We were even able to put together gingerbread houses. There was some competition between two of my sisters-in-law and my daughter and me. Putting together a gingerbread house is kinda difficult, especially when the helper is eating most of the decorations. Still, I think the final products came out nicely. Too bad they didn't make it to the big day. Apparently someone was missing cookies for his coffee...

who needs Christmas carolers? We have our own entertainment

Christmas Eve was spent at my grandmother's house, as per the tradition since before I can remember. Even though she's no longer with us, my dad tries his best to make her house inviting for whoever wishes to stop by. The tios got together to sing a couple of songs, the cousins lit some fireworks, all while A Christmas Story played in the background.

who really had more fun?

poor chair..anything for the niece

The big day was spent at my dad's. I decided to spend the night there since the kiddo was worried Santa would forget about her. My brothers also decided to spend the night at Dad's, so it felt like we were kids again. It was also the first time I had to officially play the role of the man in red. It was fun and I didn't mind the fact that I didn't get credit for any of her gifts; the look of wonderment in her eyes was worth it. The morning was spent joking around, eating tamales, the kiddo playing with her toys, all while A Christmas Story played in the background. I think that's the best thing in the world, drifting in and out of sleep while Ralphie is trying to get his Red Ryder BB gun from Santa. 

The evening was spent at my mom's, playing some loteria. Having divorced parents sucks the big one. Especially when they have absolutely no communication between each other. Usually one or the other ends up  losing out on the holidays. More often than not it's my mom, but that's dirty laundry that doesn't need to be aired out right now. Spending the evening, joking around and being with my mom ended the blessed day nicely.

So, I apologize for the lack of posting but December was a very good month for me. I'll try my best to touch base more often. I sincerely hope everyone had a great holiday. I'm already writing out my resolutions for the new year. 2012 is looking to be a pretty awesome year.

Cheers. 

Still Kicking

I'm still here; just haven't had anything to write about. Strike that...I do have a lot to write about just haven't had the time. Isn't that always the case?

I'm working on it. I'll squeeze out a couple of minutes somewhere. Till then, here is this year's Christmas tree.

Be back soon.

Daily Living

I'm not a present for your friends to open


Maybe you'll get a replacement
There's many like me to be found
Mongrels who ain't got a penny
Sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground


Oh I've finally decided where my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

Creencias

A friend's baby was recently suffering from a bout of diarrhea. She was looking to see if there were other ways to deal with the problem more swiftly instead of waiting for the BRAT diet to take effect. I told her my mom had told me that giving a baby jugo de guava would help take care of that problem in a jiffy. She looked at me like I was crazy. Sure, anybody would think that juice would be making the situation worse, but from my experience, it was a cure every single time. My mom learned that from a comadre back in the day. My friend said she'd try it but the tone in her voice carried a truckload of skepticism.

I know, we can't play around with a baby's health, but the doctor wouldn't be able to prescribe anything for diarrhea. The only recommendations would be the immediate start of the BRAT diet and lots of fluids. Jugo de guava cured my daughter of many bouts of diarrhea, and she's doing very well now. 

That got me to thinking, how many creencias does my family have? I jotted down a list of those that I've been in close contact with. How many of these have ever crossed your path?

borrowed this pic from DeLaredo.....depiction of sacando el aire

-Para sacar el aire: Roll up some newspaper into a cone, light up the wide end and stick the point into the ear or put it on the hurt area. I had this done to me all the time when I was a kid. I suffered from chronic ear infections and this remedy was supposed to help me. I remember lying on my parent's bed while my grandma had that cono in my ear waiting for the aire to come out. I ended up needing minor surgery on my ears so I'm not all too sure how much effective this method really was....

-Curar ojo con un huevo: Any headache, fever, aching bones...saca el huevo! I constantly saw this scene at home: one of my brothers lying on the bed, struggling not to laugh, while Mom brushed their body with an egg in her hand and chanted prayers under her breath. She would then break the egg into a glass of water and read the huevo to see if they did have ojo. I don't really know how to explain ojo but it's some powerful stuff. To this day, this is our go-to cure whenever we don't feel well. Dunno if it's a placebo effect but it seems to make everyone feel better..

-Como curar alguien de empache: When I was nine, my poor lil brother had problems going to the restroom (Mom blamed it on him eating his chewing gum) and so he was taken to our great-grandmother so he could be cured. She put some olive oil into her hands, rubbed her hands together to make them a lil warm, and went to work massaging my brother's back. When my lil bro looked like he was comfy, she suddenly started pulling his back skin upward. She did this a couple of times until she heard a pop. I was there, I didn't hear anything but my lil bro's wimpers of pain. Well, apparently it helped cure him of his problem because he was back to normal the following day and he never again ate his gum.

-Te de manzanilla: This is the end all, be all, cure for any stomach issue whether it be due to colic or menstrual cramps...te de manzanilla is whipped out all the time. Of course, it's not meant to be used for babies but tell that to any Mexican grandmother and they'd say you're crazy to believe otherwise.

-Como curar un dolor de pescuezo: You know, those nights when you sleep in a bad position and wake up with a pain in your neck; just grab a used pair of dad's underwear, wrap it around your neck and you'll be better in no time! And I mean your dad's underwear, not my daddy's. Alright, I have never had this tried on me, but if I'm not mistaken, I think one of my brothers had to endure this treatment. I guess my lil brother was desperate enough to allow this to happen. I wonder if he remembers, or if he repressed it like a traumatic experience...

-El Vicks: insect bite, a pain on your back, a cough...Vicks works for everything. Combine that with rubbing alcohol and you have a powerful armory against any ailment.

-Savila para la cara: My brother and I had some issues with acne back when we were teens (some of us still do) but instead of going to a dermatologist, we'd go outside, cut a branch of the savila plant growing on our front lawn and put the goo on our faces. In the morning, we'd wake up with much clearer faces. Now this remedy is well-known to actually work. We just preferred the au natural version instead of the store bought products. And these plants were planted there by Mom in order to ward off bad spirits...

Aside from medicinal beliefs, I've also grown up with some superstitions meant to ward off evil, bring good luck, and just to make my brothers and I think 'what the hell!?'

-Water behind the front door: I've seen this at a variety of homes. It's basically putting a glass of water behind the front door in order to make sure no evil spirits come in. Again, never really seen it work but it makes the residents feel better.

-Elephant statues with dollar bills on their trunks: My mom had a bunch of elephant statues back in the day. She had a shrine for them in a corner of the house I grew up in. Now she just has one on her coffee table; of course with the dollar bill in its trunk. Anything to attract money, huh? One day it just might work for my daughter, she's constantly trying to take that dollar bill from that elephant.

-Stack of coins in the corner of the room: I had never seen this before but I recently saw it at a house I visited. I didn't ask what's the reason for it but I'd imagine it has something to do with money. I'm gonna put one in every corner of my apt..see what that brings me...

-No pregnant woman can heal anyone: I didn't know about this until I was pregnant. I tried to cure the ex of some ailment he was having and apparently, due to my pregnant state, I got him sicker. My ex-mother-in-law told me not to touch her son anymore because I was only going to hurt him more than actually help him. I dunno, she said something about que yo tenia la mano mas pesada or something like that. It benefited me; I was released from wife duties for a while. Kinda makes me regret not taking more care of him while I was pregnant.....

-Trolls for luck: Dear ol' Mom and her superstitions. My mom was an avid bingo goer. Every time she'd go, she'd make sure to carry her army of trolls with her. She'd set them on top of her cards and comb their hair whenever she was going for a specific number. No one could touch their hair but Mom. They might've helped though, Mom always had luck at the bingo.

-Turning San Judas on His head: San Judas is the Saint for desperate causes and my ex-mom-in-law would constantly pray to him. But whenever he wouldn't give her what she asked for, she'd turn him upside down on his head until he helped her out. I think I'd be too scared to ever do anything like that. She seemed to do it all the time...can't really say she was doing well...so I would not recommend doing that.

-No sweeping at night: My mom never swept at night. She said that was because she'd be sweeping her happiness away. I think my grandfather was the one that told her that. Hence the reason why I don't sweep at all; just wanna make sure I don't ever run risk the chance of sweeping whatever happiness I have away....kidding, just kidding.

-No chewing gum at night: Again this came from Mom. She told us not to chew gum at night because we were chewing the bones of the dead. I have no idea whether this was passed on by older family members or she came up with this in order to get us to not chew gum at night but believe me, by 9pm, my brothers and I would make sure to throw our gums away.

-Purses don't go on the floor: Mom always tells me not to put my purse on the floor because then my money won't last. I thought the floor to my car wasn't technically the floor since it's elevated but nope, she gets mad at me whenever I put my bolsa there. Money doesn't seem to last either way....

I must say, it's a pretty interesting list. I wonder how many generations have trickled on this information. I gotta thank my mom cuz I don't think my dad would pass on this info to us. He's more the skeptical type. Still,  I don't recommend trying any of these things. I just thought it'd be fun to share what my family turns to whenever we need a quick fix.

Well, the way the economy's going, I'm sure a whole bunch of people are gonna turn to creencias more often.

But, please, stay away from dad's chones...that's just wrong. 

Por Tu Amor

Hi, folks.

I've run out of blogging topics.  Yes, I didn't think it'd happen, but it did. I have some opinions I could share but I figure it'd be a waste of time. They wouldn't be educated opinions and I'm sure I'd be sticking my foot in my mouth...or rather, putting my foot on the keyboard (?). Should you be concerned? Nah, I'll come up with something soon.

For the time being, I leave you with this song. I heard it recently on a friend's phone and flashbacks of a Christmas Eve years and years ago popped up. It's a real sweet memory. The whole night was spent laughing it up and enjoying the moment. This was the last song we danced.  

Anyways, I'll be in touch soon.

-Furniture In Life


P.S. Does everything really have to make sense?

Birthday Number Four

My lil one turned four this past week. Four. Where does the time really go? Why does it have to fly by so fast? Her birthday made me pull out her baby pictures; it lead me to retell the story of her birth to family members; it reminded me of just how far she and I have come. I know I've spoken a bit about her, and for the most part, I've chosen to keep that part of my life pretty private, but I wanna let you know a bit about her...and our journey together.

She was days old and already stylin' with a faux mohawk...

My pregnancy was wonderful. I didn't spend my time complaining about how big I was getting, about how much my back hurt, about how I already wanted her out. To be honest, I loved being pregnant...feeling her kick and move was amazing. When it came time for her to join the world, there were no complications. I had felt contractions for a couple of days but when it came time for the big event, I didn't scream, cry, curse at her father, nothing like that...the epidural worked wonders. Seeing her for the first time, it was incredible...and I then realized that she was all mine and she was out. That's when the real fun started. 

she was (and still is) absolutely adorable

When she was months old, I couldn't wait for her to make noises and start crawling. When she started babbling and crawling, I couldn't wait for her to walk and talk. When she started walking and talking...I wanted time to go in reverse. It's now that I realize she was a very easy-going baby...and toddler-hood is a whole other ballgame. 

My daughter is awesome, as I'm sure most parents think their children are. She loves to dance, pose for pictures, play outside in the dirt, and her greatest fascination comes from following her grandfather around his yard.  She doesn't play with electronics, she doesn't wear brand name clothing, and she's not the type to expect a toy every time she goes to the store. I can't say she's the most well-behaved all the time, but compared to some of the children I've seen...my daughter is pretty calm.

A side note on single parenthood: A recent ex-bf of mine advised me to work on finding out who I was as a person. In all honestly, I didn't really know I was ever lost. He said I was 'living vicariously through my daughter.' After that comment, he became my ex. The fact of the matter is, my daughter is my main priority and it's hard to 'find myself' and care for her at the same time. Sure, whenever I'm able to steal a second for myself, I take it. But for the most part, my days are filled with whatever she needs or wants to do....that's just my reality. Of course, for someone who doesn't have children or where both parents are actively involved, his theory makes perfect sense. In practice, it wouldn't work for me.

So friendly at the beginning but the night ended tragically for Ms. Kitty

Anyways, my baby girl turned four and is growing up so freakin' fast. I'm glad to say that she has some pretty solid, stable people in her life. I may be weird, and perhaps a tad overprotective, but I don't introduce my daughter to everyone. I'm extremely picky when it comes to who she meets. The few friends that have met her have been in my life for a while and I trust them.

My main goal in life is to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted, smart little girl. And for the past two birthdays, I've managed to continually make her happy. It doesn't really take much to satisfy her. As long as she has a piñata to hit, it's a successful party. Her most cherished gifts this year were: some earrings, a teddy bear, a remote control dog, and a Play-Doh set. Remember, simplicity is a family tradition, and I need to start showing her now, even though in school that frame of thinking will probably go out the window. I've been thinking about her Christmas gifts already...I think she'd get a kick outta a Slinky....I need to check out whether they still sell those things...

Happy Birthday, Mija. Even though you might never read this, or one day when you're older and run into this long-forgotten post, know that your mother loves you dearly....and I didn't always look as old as I do now.

I was sure giving those pumpkins some competition....

Ay Friend

I ain't picky with titles. It's simple. Co-worker, colleague, acquaintance, brother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, girlfriend, boyfriend...etc, etc. What about friend?

Definition of friend as provided by Wikipedia:
Friendship is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association.

I have a pet peeve. It's minor, I guess they could all be minor, really. I'm not much of a fan of being referred to as 'friend'. We've all heard it, especially living so darn close to the border. For example, Hey, friend, que hiciste este weekend? No, it's not the Spanglish that annoys me, it's the way 'friend' is used.

Why you may ask? Cuz it means you're really not the person's friend. It may mean that for that moment, they forgot what your name really was. 'Friend' would be a perfect substitute for that awkward silence before your name pops up in their head. I hear it all the time at work; and it always comes from people that I totally don't (and probably never will) consider a friend.

I know, I'm nit-picking. It's not really worth bringing up now but I'm just saying. In my personal opinion, referring to someone as 'friend' kinda makes the whole relationship extremely superficial. I'm not gonna deny that I've used the word, but it's only in instances where the other person uses it first; and where I don't hold that person in high regard...or I just want to annoy the crap outta them.

There's something meaningful about using a person's name. It was given to them for a reason, therefore, it's meant to be used. How hard is it?

Anyways, mis amigos, that's all I've got for right now. Have a great rest of the week.

Geography Awareness Week

Recently I found myself at a local South-side high school and ran into some projects on display. Well, actually, I was trying to exit the school and got lost (it's like a freakin' maze) and ended up finding out that Geography Awareness Week is upon us.

I don't remember ever honoring this week while I was in high school, but I guess it's something made up to make students more aware of their own surroundings. I thought it was a pretty cool idea. These are all projects dedicated to exploring Laredo's beauty and the things that makes my hometown unique.

I took pics of the projects I thought were interesting. These were the ones with actual pictures. Some of the displays had pictures that were taken from the Internet and printed out. Come ON! It's Laredo. It takes fifteen minutes to get anywhere, add a couple of more minutes for rush hours, but it's beyond possible to go to the sites and take pics. Leave those Internet pics for far off exotic places...like San Antonio or McAllen.

Anyways, I learned a couple of things (not really) but did manage to chuckle at a couple of them.

I didn't realize Laredo had so many monuments...I know, I know...shame on me

Dunno...maybe it's meant to be spelled like that...

Nicely decorated poster board...

This board focused on where Laredo's water comes from....in need anyone needed to be reminded...

And my personal fav:

There's so much going on here, it's kinda hard to pinpoint just one thing. It's a quirky board and I greatly enjoyed reading all that the student included. I also didn't realize emoticons were now allowed in projects. Even though the project did have printed out pics, and a couple of misspelled words, it didn't take away from the student's absolute love of the his/her city. My absolute favorite part of the whole project: 

The Rio Grande can never tear Laredo from Nuevo Laredo! NEVER! Mexican cultures run through our veins!(:

Amen! 

Two Years

Today marked the two-year anniversary of my grandmother's passing. Time's passed by so darn fast, it feels like just yesterday when I received my father's call.

So much has changed. For the better, for the worst...it is what it is.

I've written about my grandmother over and over before. She's the reason why my family and I are the way we are. We're close, super close. We get together, reminisce about the good ol' days, we sing, we laugh (a lot), we go out to eat at the same restaurants over and over again, we stick close to family, and we understand that friends come and go but family...family will always be the foundation that will help you get through anything in life.

I miss my grandmother dearly. I'd give anything to play her Scrabble again, hear her jokes, or just go and sit with her in her living room and hear her retell what happened on 'Laura'. It's hard visiting her grave site because I still feel the intense need to cry my heart out. I visit her often. When I get out of work early, I'm there. On Sunday mornings, after breakfast with the family, we head over to say hi.

The nice part is, I've dreamt of her. One dream I particularly remember, was right after her funeral, I saw her smiling; she was smiling that warm, loving, reassuring smile signalling me that she was doing just fine. It made me feel a little bit better. And recently, I don't remember the specifics of my dream, but I clearly remember her smiling face. There's no missing my grandmother's smile. She'd brighten your day without even trying.

So it's been two years but the yearning is still the same. The pain isn't as fresh but it's still deeply felt. But underneath it all, my grandmother's lessons, values, and memories strongly live on.

Miss you, Grandma. Love you.

Retama Burger

There was an unscheduled stop today in my very busy agenda. I hadn't been to this lil burger joint in quite a while. I'm talking about years and years. Last time I went there, I think I was still in high school; back when times were less chaotic and more fun.

While figuring out dinner plans, someone threw out the idea of stopping by Retama Burger. I quickly asked whether the place was still open...that's how long it had been. From what I was told, it was still open so I dashed over remembering that the restaurant would close early. Sure enough, I got there at 7:40pm and the place closes at 8pm.

I ordered 12 burgers (2 x $1.30) and it ended coming out to 8 bucks. TWELVE burgers! While I waited for my goods to be done, I took a seat in what looked like my mom's living room. Flashbacks of my family sitting around a table came back. My grandmother loved the place so we were there often. I pictured my dad trying to stop my brothers from fighting while I stared at the pictures on the wall, bored outta my mind cuz I was a know-it-all teen. That's when I realized....I totally missed that place.

When my order was up, the restaurant's owner handed it to me and I let her know how much my family and I had enjoyed the burgers from there. She smiled and explained just how much she loved her lil business. She went on to say that she looked forward everyday to serving her customers but more than that, she loved conversing with them. She said that why she was alive and able, she was going to continue doing what she's been doing since 1982. She also made me aware that once she was gone, Retama Burger would be no more since none of her children were interested in continuing on with the business. I vowed to come back over and over and she smiled, letting me know that she would continue to be there. She wished me well and I went off into the night to go and feed the hungry crowd waiting for me.

It's places like these that make me love Laredo. The big chain restaurants are everywhere and nothing will ever bring them down. Businesses like these, built by people who do it for the love of their craft, are the ones that make an impact on me. It's more than the good food (becuz the food is awesome..and cheap!); it's the fact that my memories are attached to them.

Whenever you have the chance, head on over to Retama Burger and visit the place. I promise you won't regret it.

Halloween

Halloween's over. Boo.


It all happened so darn quick, and I feel like I missed it all. All the Halloween specials...I didn't get to see them. Baking the mandatory Halloween-themed cupcakes and cakes....I didn't get a chance to bake them. Driving around to see Laredo's Halloween decorations.....I didn't do it. I missed it all.

Y porque, you may ask. Cuz I was too busy following around sports. Yup, that's correct, sports. With the Rangers' baseball games and my brother's wrestling matches, I got so caught up in the moment that I didn't even realize how fast-approaching Halloween was and it ended up zooming past me.

I can't help but feel like Sally in the old-time fav, It's a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (which I didn't get to see this year). I feel like shaking my fist around and throwing a tantrum and yelling "I was robbed!!!!....What a fool I was!!"

But alas, it was a great championship series and there's no replacing my bro's matches. But next year, I'm gonna make an effort to get into the Halloween spirit earlier..and perhaps skip baseball season altogether....but I ain't making promises. 

Here are a couple of pics I took during the spooky night. Enjoy. 

there were spiffy mobsters

feathered dancers 

what would Halloween b without a Spiderman

                                           

there were cute lil toads

mother vampires with their spawn

creative jack o'laterns (my brother carved out this one)

zombies driving cars

another creative pumpkin (this one was mine)

As short-lived as Halloween was, it was great fun. Next year's costumes have already been picked: we're gonna be zombies. Remember, we hafta start getting ready for the 2012 zombie apocalypse....

Morning Truths

After hearing it over and over, from a variety of people, it still hadn't really clicked in her head. She still couldn't make herself accept the truth. It was a difficult pill to swallow. She had been used. There hadn't ever been a need for her but for his sheer enjoyment. How was she supposed to deal with that grain of reality? She wasn't doing such a good job.

She sat down at the edge of her bed, her head in her hands, lightly tugging at her hair...when all she really wanted to do was pull it all out. She wasn't going to lose it. She was doing just fine. That's what kept repeating in her head over and over again. 'I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm gonna get through this.' Somehow, the words didn't break past her haze of oblivion. How could this have happened...again?!

He had seemed nice. He had come off as normal. Her hope, and intense need for human contact, had immediately come to surface when he came into the picture. See, not all guys were the same. There were some that were actually decent; they saw her as a person instead of an overeager puppy dog. He's gonna respect her, for sure. He wasn't capable of hurting her. She had been wrong. So, so, so, so, very wrong. Again. She had been used again. It was like starting over from square one. Again.

It was all her fault. She had been too eager to please. The past had dealt her some harsh realities and she was so ready to find a ray of sunshine. Those still existed, right? She ran into him and saw potential; in him she saw a difference from what she had found in the other one. She had been wrong. She gave in too easy. She jumped whenever he snapped his fingers. She agreed even when the voice inside her head screamed otherwise. She accepted things she'd never have gone for before, or ever would. She did it all, while wearing her heart on her sleeve, hoping that this time around, it would be different. It was all the same.

To give him credit, it had started off differently. Their connection had held a different scent from the other one. In the end, which was what mattered the most, it all turned out to be the same. She had been discarded, categorized as 'for a good time' and wasn't given priority over anything. When he'd get bored, she'd be the one he looked for. When he got needy, she's the one he turned to for reassurance. When he needed something, she was the one he could depend on. Meanwhile she was doing it with all the right intentions, he was selfishly setting out to fulfill his. The same thing, yet again.

She felt the tears start caressing her cheeks, as the humiliation and pain started to tumble out. How could she have been so stupid? Hadn't she learned anything? Why couldn't she have seen what everyone else could clearly see? All these questions popped up and stabbed her while she crumbled onto her bed as the waves of self-pity rolled over her.

As with every severe rainstorm, in the end, the sun comes out again. Again, just like it's been doing forever. She slowly made herself sit up. She looked across the room at the mirror on her wall. Remember this feeling. Remember what happened. Once should have been enough; twice better be the limit. She wasn't going to be anyone's toy anymore. What happened to her self-worth? Was she worth this? Was it worth her shedding tears for someone who didn't even know what, or how, she felt? Did she deserve this shit? 'Take this as a lesson learned, hun, it sure better not happen again'...and she stood up to dress for the day.

Life goes on. It's too short to spend it on people who aren't worth it. It's also too short to spend it playing games. Self-worth is too precious of a thing to cast aside for anyone. Chalk it up to insanity. Lesson learned.

Sunday Morning

Buenos Dias Gente!!!!!

Hope everyone makes the best of what's left of the weekend. There's a lot of things that can be done: hit the pulgas when the going is still good, the mandatory Sunday afternoon carñita, take the kiddos to the carnival on San Bernardo, catch the Cowboys' pathetic attempt at winning, or watch the Rangers game... With so much to do, whoever said Laredo was boring?!

For now, I leave you with this beautiful pic of my daughter's pancake. If only all my cooking skills were as golden.

Oh and here's a pic a friend of mine sent. Need I say more?

Change of Plans

I had plans for my Saturday. I was gonna catch the Rangers game with a couple of friends at a local hangout joint, and end the night on a good note. Well, apparently I had forgotten about one very important event: my brother's wrestling match. 

See, one of my brothers wrestles with the Laredo Wrestling Alliance (LWA). He's been doing it for a while and it's one of his biggest passions. So when I received his text Saturday morning telling me about his match, I had to switch my plans around in order to go and support him. 

I wonder what it feels like to be in there......

My brother has always been a huge wrestling fan. I mean, HUGE. When we were younger, he would practice his special moves on my teddy bears. Most of my bears didn't have their beady eyes cuz of him. There was the time when he was wrestling with my other brother on my parents' brand-new bed. They ended up breaking one of the beams....it wasn't so new anymore. When he got a little older, say high school, he and a couple of friends would get together and wrestle. He videotaped a whole bunch of those matches and they would do some pretty crazy stuff. They jumped off balconies, off ladders, body slam each other onto mattresses, practice their entrances, figure out their character 'look'....they were a dedicated bunch. 

My father always hoped he was going through a phase. I'm sure Dad freaked out when even I was following that Monday night wrestling show. Yes, there was a point when I figured it'd be easier to join my brothers in their TV viewing than argue with them about changing the channel. I have to admit, the wrestling matches were entertaining, the story plots were hilarious, and seeing my brothers focus on something for three hours was amazing. My wrestling brother would dye his hair different colors, he'd grow it out super long, he bought most of his clothes at Hot Topic, he'd work out to make sure his body was in tip-top shape; my brother had his heart set on being a wrestler. Then, slowly but surely, reality set in and he knew he should start focusing on a career. Not to say he couldn't be a wrestler, but it was a dream that was gonna take a huge amount of time and effort....two things he couldn't really afford. So my brother ended up tucking away his dreams of wrestling. 

Well, one day I was checking out Facebook, and some friends had started posting about this wrestling alliance in Laredo. I asked my brother whether he had heard about it, figuring he must already know. He said he didn't and I thought he had left it at that. Nope. Next thing I know, he had already gotten in contact with someone who knew someone and Abra-cadabra....he was in the alliance. Dad wasn't all that happy but was supportive either way. 

I hadn't been able to see him wrestle, due to other insignificant happenings in my life, so Saturday was his night. Sure, I was still checking in on the Rangers score on my phone, but I finally got to see him wrestle. My daughter also got a kick outta seeing him in the ring. She was cheering for him, telling him to get up, even explaining to people that his real name wasn't his stage name. 

1st match: Rudy vs Freak....neither of which are my brothers

I love my brothers dearly, and watching them achieve goals that they've always wanted to pursue gives me a huge sense of pride. Seeing him wrestle was such an awesome experience. I wanted to let everyone know that I was that wrestler's sister. I'll probably get a shirt made, like back when my brothers were in little league; I had a shirt that read F****'s & A****'s Sister. 

From now on,  his matches will be taking priority over everything else. My daughter started asking when she was gonna get to see  her tio 'fight' again. Next event will be held in Zapata in two weeks. It's gonna be a traveling day for the clan. 

I'm looking forward to it....since the world series will be done and over with by then. Which, by the way, will be including the Rangers! Yes, I did get to see the end of the game. Go, Rangers, Go!!!!! 

And if you haven't attended a LWA event, make the time and effort to go and check one out. It's cheap (five bucks), it's fun, and you're supporting local talent. Big thumbs up to the LWA!!

My Blogging Corner

All bloggers have their special place where they like to sit and ponder as to what they're going to share with the world. Some do it in fancy-schmancy places like Mr. BTB at Starbucks. Others might do it at home, while in their chones, awaiting for the morning coffee to brew. I do it late at night, while reruns of Wings play endlessly in the background and my lil girl is snoring away in her room. But that's not where I come up with my ideas. Oh no. I come up with those elsewhere. In a far off place, away from the beaten path.

There's a variety of reasons why I choose this special hole in the wall. I'll find someway to entertain my daughter while I take out my pen and paper and start writing...yea, I go all old school with my brainstorming.

I don't have to wait long before the words start pouring "from my penny pencil with such feverish fluidity."

Tortillas and the Rangers

Due to the hustle and bustle of the week, I have not only neglected my blog, but I have failed to make my weekly batch of homemade tortillas! Oh the horror of it all. Yes, I am ashamed to admit that my daughter has had to eat tortillas bought from the store. No wonder children are having the problems they're facing nowadays. Darn those long work hours and those freakishly long, suspense ridden, Rangers games!

What? You find it hard to believe that I can make homemade tortillas? Well, I'm sure you wouldn't be the first to think such a thing. Even my own mom wouldn't think I'd be possible of perfecting the tortilla mixture. Of course, my tortillas come out looking more like countries instead of the perfect circles Mom makes, but the taste is the same. Mine are unique....at least that's what I tell my daughter whenever she asks about the shape.

Since I haven't made tortillas lately, I've resorted to buying a package of those ready-to-cook fake tortillas from the tienda. I'm sure each person has their own favorite brand but I tend to go for La Exquisita. The name just sounds so delicate, so sweet. Aside from that, their catch phrase is awesome: Just like Mama Makes. Of course, it's a lie cuz my mama's taste waaaaay better, but for store bought, these are of superior quality.

mi manita, doing a very bad impression of DeLaredo's hairy hand, at a Rangers' game this past summer

Nimodo, that's what I get for jumping on the Rangers' bandwagon. I fully accept the fact that I haven't been a Rangers fan since birth. My dad's not much of a fan now, but he appreciates the game and does tune in every once in a while. He even got to see a couple of games pitched by Nolan Ryan. He bought us those pennant fan things, which my brothers had in their rooms forever. But for me, I've been a closet fan for a while. This past summer, after attending a couple of games, I became a bona fide Rangers fan. Good thing I was able to get a good seat on that darn wagon, otherwise I'm sure I would've gotten run over.

It's gonna be a sports filled weekend for me. Rangers play later on today and I'm praying they win it. There's no need to get to a game 7. As it is, I had secretly wished they wouldn't win game 6 so I could get to watch them play. I mean, who in the world comes up with a 3:19pm game time?! Don't they know people work? I tried to DVR the last game but there was no point in that since I continually checked the status of the game on my phone. Well, at least I got my wish, now I'm just hoping they win. Otherwise I'm sure I'm in for a scolding from those hardcore Rangers fans.

Ah, and my dear ol' Cowboys play Sunday against the Patriots. Oh well. The Patriots. Brady has been having a stellar year, as always, but I have faith in my 'boys. I have faith that they'll screw it up and probably lose....but I'm still gonna catch the game and cheer and boo at all the right times. I'm even gonna secretly hope they win. Hey, weirder things have happened.    
                                                                                         

                           

Oh, and I know someone's probably spotted these items, but Wal-Mart's provided me with some pretty cool pics. Does the Cowboys' franchise really support these things? Tackle Towels? They're regular plain, crummy paper towels which just happen to have a Cowboys football player on the packaging. Take off the player and you'll have the regular generic brand for $.75, instead of the $1.25 for Tackle Towels. And if you've ever wanted to grill like a Cowboy, they have their official briquets on sale. Grilling Cowboys Style. Hmm, first off, I hardly believe the Cowboys would use these briquets. Second, I'm sure they'd hire cooks and chefs to do the grilling for them. But if anyone's actually bought and used this carbon, let us know how it went. Did it really taste like the Cowboys style?

We'll be waiting with bated breath on the consumer report.  

In My Head

Currently on repeat:

Up, down, turn around
Please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone
I'll find my soul as I go home

Each way I turn, I know I'll always try
To break this circle that has been placed around me
From time to time, I find I've lost some need
That was so urgent to myself, I do believe

Catchy tune with some cool lyrics.

Birthdays, Super S, and Cowboys

A couple of weeks ago, my brother and I celebrated birthdays. Since our special days were during the week, we got together during the weekend to hang out and celebrate the fact that we're getting closer and closer to the dreaded 3-0. Of course, I'm gonna get there first, but that's not the point here. 

Since my lil brother lives in San Antonio, he says he's yet to find a bakery that serves pan dulce like the one from his favorite Laredo panaderia, El Mejor Pan. Btw, if you go over to San Anto looking for pan dulce, they won't know what you're talking about. You have to ask for it by it's politically correct name: Hispanic bread. I'm not kidding; it happened to my dad on one of his visits up North. He even laughed in the lady's face but that's what pan dulce is in San Antonio....Hispanic bread.

Anyways, since my lil brother was visiting, I decided to go and buy him some pan dulce and get him some chocolate milk. I thought about buying a small bottle of chocolate milk but knowing my daughter, she was gonna want some too and then they'd both end up fighting for it. I was forced to make a pit-stop at my local Super S since it was the store closest to me...I didn't go there by choice, believe me. 

Super S is affectionately known, in my family, as the Stupid S due to a variety of incidents that have transpired with the employees and customers of that market place. But we continue to go cuz we think it's gonna be more convenient instead of heading to H-E-B. Often times, though, we get outta there wishing we had done just that. 

So, I was looking for the cheapest gallon of chocolate milk. I can't stand chocolate so I wasn't being all too picky about the name brand or taste. As long as it wasn't expired, it was more than okay with me. I ended up buying this particular gallon just cuz of the name:

Chocolate Flavored Drink....not milk...

Choco Dream...it sounds fun, catchy, something that probably won't give you diarrhea. I dunno, my brother and lil girl seemed to like it. And it was pretty cheap considering that most of the prices at Super S are astronomically high. Of course, most customers there have the magic card and don't really worry about prices. As for me, I don't get to join the magic-card-club so Choco Dream had to do. 

Super S still smells like it did when I was a kid. Oh, and they have an excellent assortment of beer...well if you like that sorta thing. Go support your local Super S today!

All in all, my brother and I spent our birthdays with the family so we had a great time. Even if the Cowboys did lose, at least we saw them lose together. Y eso que a whole bunch of us bought Cowboy t-shirts just for the occasion. Even my nephew got into the spirit of things:

Cowboys-fans-in-training

It's really a win-win situation when the whole family gets together. Gracias a Dios for another year. 

Indisposed Santa

I love holiday decorations but there are some I don't quite understand.

I was at Wal-Mart a couple of days ago and my daughter was fascinated by these huge inflatable displays depicting Christmas symbols. She was already pointing out the ones she wanted me to buy: Frosty the Snowman, a Christmas tree, Rudolph, and even some elves. I was looking at the displays, trying to figure out a way to explain to my lil girl that we couldn't possibly have a decoration that big at our apartment complex, when my eyes fell upon a rather unique display.....

Again I thought my eyes were deceiving me and so I stood there making sure I was seeing the display correctly. Yup, I was definitely right:

                             

Uh-huh, it's Santa in an outhouse. He has the toliet paper waiting for him and everything. I dunno....I don't remember anything like that when I was a kid. Sure I've seen Santa stuck in the chimney, seen him asleep, but never seen this side of him. It's understandable, he's human and has needs but....really? Does he have to be depicted like that! 

And, of course, that's the one my lil girl asked for since it had more movement than the other displays. I ended up making our landlord the bad guy for not allowing me to buy it. 

Wait till I show my dad what they're selling now. He'll for sure embrace his 'Bah Humbug' mentality a lil tighter. From the looks of it, he just might be on to something. 

Sis Boom Blah!

It's been a while since I last checked in. I guess that last Cowboys loss really did me in....nah, I'm kidding. Work really kicked my butt this week and apparently there's a stomach virus going around that turned my normally cheery, hyper lil girl to the demon from The Exorcist (the puking one only...not the scary head-turning one). But I have managed to keep my sense of humor about everything, especially when my mom has her own sick sense of humor. Here's a picture message she sent me recently....

it had to be Romo, quien mas!

Gosh, she really knows how to hit where it hurts. She's never been a Dallas fan, much to the chagrin of my father and brothers. She even called me after sending it just to make sure I did receive it. Te digo....and they're off this Sunday which sucks even more. 

BUT, at least the Rangers are playing and they're doing even better than the Cowboys. Yes, I understand some hardcore Ranger fans might be offended that I'm comparing the two pero me vale! I've bought merchandise for both teams so I can do as I wish. 

GOOOO RANGERS!!

Decisions, Decisions

Halloween's right around the corner and my lil girl's been bugging me with what she's gonna be wearing to go trick-or-treating. Last year, my sisters-in-law and I decided to be the same thing. It took away the whole searching and wondering what to be for the spooky night. We were witches. Yes, my brothers laughed at us and would constantly replace the 'W' with a 'B'. What can I say, they're dumb butts.

Anyways, costumes ideas for this year were varying from fairies to angels to the Pink Ladies from Grease. I was going more for the ladies theme but changed my mind when I went to see the costumes at a couple of places. I was thinking about these ideas:

this would give out the perfect message!

what could be more original than a taco

But thought otherwise. I even came to find that there's costumes for Jersey Shore, Miami Ink, and even Charlie Sheen. Really? Ssseriously! I miss the costumes of back in the day. Plastic masks that would make ur face sweat and made breathing kinda difficult but they were fun. Ooh well. Still in our quest, we were able to find suitable costumes that aren't really original but are doable. This year's theme is gonna be vampires. My lil girl's gonna be a 'batarina'. I thought of the plain ol' vampire costume but it'd look tooo boyish and mija's a bit girly....waaaay girlier than her mother.

Pero, I'm gonna add in some fangs and blood on her mouth. It is Halloween, after all, and she has to look evil in some way! After all, when she was two, I dressed her up as Chucky. Good thing she didn't (and still doesn't) know who that mono is, otherwise she'd never let me do that to her.  Small trick-or-treaters ran away from her crying, thinking she was the real deal come alive. There were even some moms who would look at her and say 'ay, que feo niño' and ask if she was real or a doll.

she looks scary, doesn't she

It has been, so far, the best (and cheapest) costume idea ever.