I've found love. Yes. You read that correctly: I am in love.
It’s not perfect, and who’s to say whether it’ll be the kind to last forever, but I have it now…at this moment I have someone special in my life.
You might say that’s the reason why I haven’t been writing. I’d have to disagree. I've been on a journey, most of which needed to be recorded in some form or another. The lessons intertwined in those passages have helped guide me even further into recovery. Then I reached a point where writing was not going to be enough to help me continue forward. It was time to get down to the nitty gritty and work.
Have I reached full recovery? No. I think I won’t ever reach that height but I’m at a place in my life where I’m sincerely happy and stable. The need for defenses, games, indifference, and randomness is gone. They’re not necessary anymore. I’m still independent…to an extent. My picture of the future now includes someone; the man I've fallen in love with is now standing beside me. And that feels awesome.
What makes this so special? What makes this so unique? It’s not. Everyone falls in love at some point in their lives, but me, well for me, I've finally fallen in love with someone who treats me well. Who hugs me instead of criticizes me. Who buys me flowers instead of takes my money. Who helps teach my daughter instead of putting her in dangerous situations. What’s more amazing? I've allowed someone to fall in love with me. I've allowed myself to be vulnerable and lend someone control of my life.
So I've fallen in love. Life is going to be good. Its ups and downs. Its twists and turns. Its good and bad.
Life is amazing.
And yes, I am back. :)