'La Fodonga del Valle'

Work gets a bit stressful sometimes, so in order to better cope with the workload, I go and visit my co-workers to vent and de-stress a bit. During one of those recent breaks, my co-worker commented on what her first impression of me was a couple of years back. Basically, she called me 'la fodonga del Valle'. She commented on how I wouldn't put on make-up, my attire was less than appealing, my hair was rarely combed, and I carried myself without much confidence. I sat there, listening to her intently, and asked her what she thought of me now. She said, 'eres totalmente diferente'. I laughed, went back to my office, and continued with my work.

I can't say her words didn't sting. I remember back to that time and there were a whole bunch of things going on in my life. My appearance was the very last thing on my mind. I was in a horrible relationship, I was struggling financially, I was constantly homesick, and I was working in a city that was 45 minutes away from my home, at the time. Life was a crap hole. I would wake up in the morning, dreading the commute. I wouldn't put effort into combing my hair. Makeup wasn't even a consideration. The fact that I managed to take a shower every morning was a miracle. My clothes were beyond worn out. Some didn't even fit anymore but I'd continue wearing them cuz I had no other option. But, I didn't feel out of place. The environment in which I was existing was surrounded with women like me; women that had, for the time being, given up. Then, when I would have to come to the Laredo office, I would feel very self-conscious. I didn't fit in. It'd only last for a lil while and then I'd be driving back to the Valley and everything would be 'normal' again.

Fast forward to the present. Things have changed; I've changed. I wake up earlier to make sure I look presentable. Sure, I don't always have my hair combed. Most of the time I'll have a ponytail, but that's cuz my mane is kinda hard to handle. Makeup is a must, even if it's just the basics. My clothes, well, I still ain't fashionable but at least I have variety and I add an update every once in a while.

My co-worker's words did have an impact. I inwardly wanted to tell her exactly what I thought of her, but I understood where she was coming from. I've come a long way these past couple of years. But I'll never be sophisticated or polished. I'm completely okay with that cuz I know I'm still a good person and I know how to carry myself. Every now and then I'll take a break from that role, but I'm entitled to. At least I won't ever be 'la fodonga de Laredo'.

And if I ever do, please, please, tell me.