*We all have our pathetic moments. Most keep them quiet and tucked away so that they don't draw people's pity. Well, I don't really feel like hiding my pathetic moment, so I'm going to share it here. At least I warned you beforehand.*

I don’t know what it is lately; perhaps I want to blame this on the stupid holiday that passed. Perhaps it might be that I’ve reached a point in my life where I want to settle down. Perhaps it might be that I’m just tired of all the freakin’ games. Whatever the reason, the fact of the matter is that I’m on a mission. I’ve tried recruiting individuals to help me on this endeavor of mine, but it’s proven to be fruitless. Then again, what do I expect from guys. I’m not going to turn this into a sad 'why me' rant. Instead I want to focus on the reality of the situation.

I’ve never been lucky in love. I’ve heard the saying ‘lucky in love, unlucky in life’ or something like that. I guess I would be extremely lucky in life cuz I ain’t been so blessed in the love department. Yes, yes, there’s family love, friend love, blah blah blah. I’m talking about the other kind of love. The kind that makes those romance novels and movies the big bucks. The kind that makes single woman all over the world desperate to find their soul mate. If they only knew that the person doesn’t really exist. Ok, ok,  I won’t be so damn pessimistic. I’ll try and tone it down.  I’ve had one relationship in my life. Obviously, it didn’t end the way I would’ve wanted it to finish. There was no white wedding, where doves are released at the end of the ceremony. There was no buying of a house in which to grow old in. There was no planning for children. There was none of that. It ended, that was it. So now, I find myself single….again. Never was good at it the first time around; now to be in this predicament, yet again. You can just imagine my chagrin. I’m a bit different than the average single woman (ha, denial). I won’t pine away for a man. I can’t do it. I still live my life the way I want and do whatever has to be done. I like not having to report to anyone.  I’m not looking to have someone complete my life. I’m happy with what I already have but to have someone to enhance the experiences that I will face…I wouldn’t mind having that around. I’m guarded, that goes without saying but I’m capable of letting it down a bit in order to provide some guy the opportunity of getting to know me. Men, unfortunately, often times don’t possess such a quality. Some woman hurts them and they’re almost beyond repair. At my age, it’s hard to find a guy that hasn’t been through the ringer. Forget about them having the ability to still think of happily every after. Take my word for it, I’ve been around quite a few guys with this attitude and they’re really no fun. They kinda make life more stressful than interesting. Word to the wise: steer clear cuz they are not going to be giving out much.

So, yea, this mission of mine; the one I’m currently on. It’s to find a guy that will become my partner. Sure, it might not be a forever kinda thing; no one can be certain on a lot of things nowadays. But I want there to exist the possibility of something. I am in no way pathetic, well at least in my eyes I'm not (again, denial). I’m not here advertising for anything. I just wanted to talk about my current single status and how there lives the very small hope that some guy, that’s worth it, will stroll into my life and add a little something to it. Whether it’s just for a quick visit or a lifetime conversation, I’m open to it. I guess we’ll see what happens.

*There, it wasn't so bad, was it? I won't do it again. I won't promise because you never know. After all, I am a single woman in Laredo...I'm bound to run into 'pathetic-ness' at some point or another. I'll make sure to warn you again next time.*