Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Baby Number 2

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter was playing with Play-Doh on my dad’s living room floor. She turned to my sister-in-law and asked her to play. My sis-in-law was tired, she had already been playing with her the whole day, and asked for a break. My daughter then gives a huge sigh and says, “I wish I had a sister.”

That hit me…hard. Yea, it was a bit funny but at the same time, it kinda stung.

My little girl has asked me a couple, okay more than a couple, of times to have another baby. I’ve explained to her that it’s not as easy as she thinks it to be. When I hear her ‘awww’ and see her pout, I think to myself, “Well, why not?” I’m already doing it by myself with one; why not add another one more to the picture.

There are a variety of reasons why I’d want to have another baby. First and foremost, I want my daughter to have a sibling. Growing up with three brothers myself, I don’t remember ever being bored. I had someone to fight with and to confide in. Now, my relationship with my siblings is something I cherish dearly. I’d want my daughter to have that same bond with a brother or sister. Second, my pregnancy was so easy that I wouldn’t mind going through it again. Third, I’d be around my family this time while I’m pregnant. With my daughter, I lived in Idaho and my family didn’t meet her until she was already six months old. Having them around this time, I know it’d mean a lot to them and to me. Especially my mom, she’d love to be there to see her one and only daughter go through a pregnancy from the beginning to the end. And lastly, I feel as if having another baby would add another dimension to my daughter’s life. Most of her life, she’s been surrounded by adults. She is the first, and was the only grandchild in the family until my nephew joined the picture almost two years ago. But he lives in San Antonio so the cousins don’t get to spend too much time together. With another baby, she’d be able to experience being a big sister, which I’m more than sure she’d love. And of course, I’d love to have another baby.

The cons of my having a baby? I’d be a single parent all over again. I’ve managed to get my daughter walking, talking, potty-trained, settled with other children, comfortable with attending elementary, and sleeping in her own room, by herself. With another baby, I’d be back to square one. Another thing, probably bigger than the first, would be the financial aspect of raising two children on my own. Sure, my daughter and I are doing just fine right now. Adding another individual into the mix would make it a bit more difficult for me. It’s not like a baby would require a lot of stuff. I’ve come to find that they really need the most basic of things, and diapers…lots and lots of diapers. I could manage that but would I really want to make it more stressful for my daughter and me? And a last, but major component, who’s gonna take care of my baby while I’m at work? I had the ‘luxury’ of staying at home with my daughter until she was almost two-years-old. I feel that the first couple of days, weeks, months, of a baby’s life are the most amazing. Who do I trust enough to take care of him/her the ‘right’ way? And another biggie, which I don’t really like to admit but I do completely understand, at some point of their life, my child would realize that ‘Daddy’s’ not in the picture. My daughter will sometimes ask questions regarding her father and his absence and it’s not that it bothers me; it’s more that I don’t know exactly what to tell her. I know it bothers her, because there’ll be a period when she asks about her father and whether I’m with him. My attempts at explaining the situation in a manner where she is able to comprehend has somewhat answered some of her questions, but I’m sure she still has other ones. Would I really want to do that with another baby? Sure I didn’t plan on being a single mom and it happens all the time, but to knowingly have another baby without a father around? Hmm. I’m not so sure.

So there, folks, is the dilemma I’m currently facing. Is it something I should be contemplating? Perhaps not, but we all make our own decisions. Realistically speaking, I probably won’t end up having another baby. I’m still young, but the ‘hopes’ of finding a suitable mate is pretty, well very, dim. And I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’m happy and feel fulfilled. A baby would only add to the happiness but then again, would it really….

I guess we shall see.  

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