As I sit here drinking my chamomile tea, I reflect on what my life has become. I'm pretty happy with all that's happened. Do I regret anything? Nah. Learned a couple of hard lessons but I wouldn't take them back. But what's on my mind right now isn't the past, it's the future....
I was talking with a friend today and I guess the same thing was on our mind....Is this it? Is this what our lives are destined to be? Yea, can you believe it, having a mid-life crisis at 30. It kinda feels that way.
I'm not complaining. I have a job I love and it's afforded me the ability to provide for my daughter, but do I plan on staying there forever? I read a couple of years back that a person changes careers at least seven times in their lifetimes. I'm still at number one. Do I have plans on going back to school? Do I want to venture into something else? What do I wanna do? These are the questions that have kept me up at night recently.
Stability. That's the main reason why I've hesitated on making any move. Frankly, I'm scared. But I think I have a greater fear of realizing, at the end of my life, that I never did anything exciting. Like I told a friend recently, I wanna feel alive. I want adventure. I want material to blog about. I'm sure you've all noticed how scarce the posts have been....I don't have anything to rave or complain about. :(
It's all in my hands, I know, I know. Baby steps. In order to help me get jump started on my uncharted adventures, I'm gonna start reading the book, The Secret. An ex-bf of mine swore by this book. He even listened to an audio reading of it while he slept....yes, there were many reasons why that relationship didn't work...BUT, that's beside the point. Perhaps there is something to positive thinking (duh). First thing on my to-do list is: change my lifestyle. As to how, I'm not entirely sure yet. It's a plan in the making. I'll let y'all know what I come up with.
As for right now, I'm gonna finish my tea and go to sleep. Tomorrow's another day with the possibility for new beginnings. At least that's what I'll chant until I fall asleep.
Ah, but I do have a certain something that's been on my mind for a while already. I've been working on that entry for a while and I'll post it up manaña.
Buenas noches. :)