El Friend

A couple of years back, I met a friend. I didn't expect him to come into my life at that moment. I had just moved back to Laredo and was trying to piece my life back together. Meeting him at the time that I did was both a blessing and a curse.

The very first time we 'met' was at a local establishment where people hang out to have a good time. Meet up for easy going conversation and have a couple of light drinks. I was out with my partner in crime and he sent me a message letting me know that he was on his way to the same place. He brought up the possibility of us meeting there but I was way too nervous. I was new to the whole making friends thing and didn't think I was really ready. My partner in crime, on the other hand, thought it'd be fun to meet up. She was having so much fun, at my expense, that she didn't mind going back into the place. So there we went, my heart racing, and I felt 'the wall' instinctively go up. I think had it been any other guy, he would've been put off by my personality. I was too dry and sarcastic...and I have made a lot of progress, but at that time, I wasn't pleasant company for men. Well, he gave me a chance, perhaps he saw beyond the spiky demeanor and that was when our friendship was born.

Fast forward to almost three years later, and we're still going strong. I can't really say I've ever met anyone like him. It's never boring when I meet up with him. What makes him even more special to me is that we met at a period when both our lives were chaotic. He never let on how much his past had affected him and I wasn't ready to talk about my more recent pain. And it took a while, a long while before I could actually say I understood him.

Now, we have a different relationship than most friendships but it's something I'm glad to have in my life. It might not make sense to outsiders but he's kept me sane when I didn't think it was possible. And he doesn't know how much he's impacted my life and I doubt I'll ever tell him but he has.

If I had to describe my ideal man, it'd include everything my friend is...both in personality and physical appearance. He just makes complete sense to me. But sometimes, things work out in weird ways, and that's what happened here. We work very well as friends.

So, I know it's kinda late, but I wanted to celebrate my friend on this very special day. May we continue to have more years of trivial conversations and disagreements on whether he's actually finally matured (he has but isn't quite there yet). But he has hope for love, the real love that still beats somewhere in this world. And I sincerely hope he finds it because he deserves happiness. I'll even volunteer to be 'madrina' of something for his wedding...well maybe but I'll for sure be in attendance.

I know one day he'll finally become that sun in somebody's sky. We'll be shining bright together...the galaxy is big enough for the both of us.

Daily Living

My brother came down to visit for the holidays and he told my dad that he felt like he couldn't hear from his right ear. He then asked my dad to help him out.

So dad rolled up a paper cone and lit it up.....

Can't say that it worked. I had this done to me all the time as a kid cuz I suffered from chronic ear infections. I ended up having tubes put in my ears.

Just thought I'd let you all know that the old school ways are alive and well in the west side.

New Year’s Resolutions:

First and foremost, Happy New Year to everyone. A bit late, but better late than never. 

Resolutions: everyone makes them, and by March, everyone forgets them. At least that's what happens with me. Is it on purpose? Perhaps it might be that I’m not ready to make the commitment. And if you haven’t gotten it by now, I’m not too keen on commitments. BUT I think it’s time. I’ve reached a point in my life where I am ready to make some major changes….okay, maybe not major but they’re significant to me.

Here are my top five resolutions:

5. Drink more water. Yes, it’s kinda boring and everyone always says they’re gonna do it and never do but I am. Years back, I gave up drinking any kind of soda for about three years. I’m gonna aim for six months and take it from there.

4. Do more baking with my daughter. I never did it much with my mom when I was younger. I was more into climbing trees and running outside than being in the kitchen, but my lil one likes making cookies. Main point being, spend more quality time with my baby, before she grows up and realizes that I’m not as cool as she thinks me to be now.

3. Write and read more. Obviously I haven’t been doing much of that lately. I love writing but I don’t make the effort to do it on a daily basis. And reading, well I’d have to say that I have a problem with reading. The thing is that once I pick up a book and I get into it, it’s difficult to put it down. I get obsessed with finishing it that I really can’t function. You probably think I’m exaggerating…..well, I finished the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy in less than a week…. See…told you.

4. Get a house where my daughter can finally have her dog. Okay, I know this one won’t be accomplished in a year (well, one never knows) but I’m going to start the process of getting my own home. I have no idea where to start so that’s my starting point. Then, I’ll take it from there. As for now, I’ve managed to reach a compromise with my munchkin. She’s getting a hamster. I'm not too excited with the idea but it’s the best I can do…for now. I will get her a puppy and a yard where she can runaround with it...even if it means moving back with my dad.....maybe.

And the main resolution:

5. For so long, I’ve felt like I’ve been carrying around excess weight on my shoulders; my goal is to just let it go. I’m ready to leave my burdens in the care of someone who I know will be better able to deal with them than I ever will. I want to live a sincere life. I want to avoid as much negativity as possible. Sure, life isn’t perfect and I know that well, but there’s no need to constantly be on guard. I am very blessed with what I have in my life. I have an amazing family, great friends, a job I love, a place to live, food to eat, a vehicle to get me places, and enough money to provide us with what we need. I really can’t ask for anything more. It’s time that I work on appreciating it. 

**And that there, folks, are my resolutions. So, I will be writing more. And the blog might change up a bit. How, I’m still not entirely sure, but I’m working on it. As for now, here’s wishing you many blessings, love, and happiness in 2013. J   

2 Everything Will Be Ok

One of the things that I've constantly been reminded of my entire life has been, "Todo va salir bien."

Family members, friends, and people I've run into have always, for some reason or another, told me those four little words. There's nothing complex about the meaning. You really have to take it as it is. It's as simple as that. But to really feel it is something entirely different and difficult to do. 

My mom especially favors those words. The ever optimist, constantly reminds me that no matter how hard the obstacle there's always a solution. Since my way of thinking is naturally geared more towards the pessimistic side, she was my reminder on how I just have to believe that all will be well. 

Faith. It's just trusting that somehow and some way, the situation will right itself the way it's supposed to. After years and years of hearing those words, finally at the ripe ol' age of thirty, I'm managed to completely embrace their meaning: everything really does come out okay. 

Now, my friends complain about how I'm always telling them that very saying that used to make me roll my eyes. I guess they think that I don't understand their situation. I guess they feel that I've never gone through what they've gone through. True. We all face different hardships but that feeling of hopelessness, of being lost...I've been there. And I found that at the end, things end up the way they have to. Sure, most of the time it's not the way we want them....but it's the way we need them to be. Most of the time, we'll realize that it turned out better than we expected. 

Is my life perfect? Of course not. But I spent a lot of time sulking in a very dark place. It's taken me quite a while to right my own wrongs and accept the situation the way it is. But I've made progress. I imagine it'll be an ever constant struggle but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Believe and know, that when it feels as if there's absolutely no way life will ever feel normal again, there will come a day when it will all make sense and everything will eventually turn out okay. 

:)

1 Pay it Forward

I liked the movie, but that's not what I was referring to. When I started the blog, Mr. DeLaredo 2.0 was the one who really pushed me to start it. I wasn't all too interested, cuz I didn't think anyone would really want to read what I wrote. Well, I came to find out otherwise.

And if it hadn't been for his incessant nagging, I mean encouragement, I wouldn't have taken the first step of my long therapy session. So, when I found out a close friend of mine could write, I suggested she start a blog. She was interested from the very beginning but kept putting it off for a while until finally, she took the plunge and joined the blogging world.

It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you all: Perfect Height for Hugs.

Check it out. It's in the early stages but keep tuned. My friend has a great style of writing.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Ms. India Taranga. :)

If you're there for my struggles I might ask you to be there for my success !!!!!

Dirty Thirty......

I'm not much of a fan of the title but I've been hearing that phrase for the past week, so I figured I'd use it up a bit more. Well, it finally happened. A couple of days ago I turned the big 3-0. I'm no longer in my twenties. I can no longer say I didn't know better. I've matured. At last.

I always look forward to my birthdays. It doesn't bother me that I'm turning a year older. It's a year more that I'm grateful for. This particular birthday was special for many, many reasons. For one, I spent it with great company. For another, I celebrated three decades on this world of ours. And the third, well, I feel better than I have in a very, very long time. 

Since this birthday has been so special, I'm going to do something a bit different with the blog. I'm going to talk about thirty things I've learned in my thirty years. Granted, I've just begun my thirtieth year but I've learned a couple of things along the way. Each piece of wisdom I share will be numbered from,yes, you guessed it, one through thirty. This is also to differentiate between them and regular Halloween posts, which I promise will be coming up very soon. I can't promise a daily entry, but I can definitely promise that I'll complete the thirty. Keep in mind though, not all will be life-altering gems of knowledge. Remember, it's just my rinky-dinky blog. But I'll try my best to make them entertaining. 

For those who continue to check in on my blog, I thank you. I hold this blog close to my heart, even though it might not show, but I've enjoyed the whole experience. 

So stay tuned. The best is yet to come.

balloons are always fun

Eve of Change

Ok, so obviously I lied. I just haven't made the effort to sit down and write.

The blog started as my therapy. As a way to help me deal and internalize what I went through in my previous relationship. Because, basically, that was the bottom line: I hadn't been able to deal with and comprehend what I had gone through with my ex. Now, though, I'm at a much better place in my life. I'll go into a bit more detail at another time but for now, on this eve of change, I find myself nervous.

Sunday nights are always a bit tricky for me. After having a break during the weekend, the upcoming work week isn't always an exciting thing to look forward to. But tonight, of all nights, I'm nervous due to another very nerve-racking reason: my baby starts her first day of school tomorrow.

Yup, it's that moment that all parents fear. It's the beginning of my baby's independence, of her exposure to the outside world. Sure, she's been in daycare for awhile already but school's different. I'd prefer her to stay in daycare till she was eighteen...but I know that's impossible.

So, months ago, I started preparing her. Letting her know that she was going to be heading to the 'big school' now. We went to buy her uniforms. I let her choose her shoes. I let her help me gather her school supplies. She picked the pinkest backpack. I, along with several family members, talked to her about strangers and inappropriate touching. I kept on reminding her that she would be attending 'real' school now. I took her to meet her new teacher. And all the while, my heart was beating at a million miles per hour. My lil girl was going to start her adventure into the world, and I know the journey would get rough one day.

Then tonight, as I put her to sleep earlier than usual, I spoke to her about how she would have to get up early. I let her know that the school now had a bell system and she couldn't be late. I told her about the other children that would be crying. She turned to me and asked, "Why would they be crying, Mommy?" I explained to her that these children weren't used to being away from their mommies and they would be scared. She then asked whether she had to cry too. I told her that she didn't, that perhaps she could show them that there was nothing to be scared about. I let her know that I would be picking her up after school but also reminded her that the following week she would be going to the after school daycare. All this she listened to intently and then said, "Ok, Mommy. Good night. I love you," then turned around and fell fast asleep. As I lay there, again my heart pounding away, I realized that my kiddo was more ready for school than I was.

And that is why I'm here now. Because I can't sleep. Because I work in a job where I get glimpses as to what  can happen in schools. Because I know that the youth aren't as naive and innocent as they were years and years back. But it's a passage of life and I'm gonna be there right next to my baby helping her as much as I possibly can.

We all have to grow up at some point or another. And just like my mother did when I was a kid, I'm gonna take my lil girl to her first day of school and smile as brightly as I can and let her know that I love her and give her my blessing. Then I'll go back to my car and cry my eyes out on my way to work.

But that's the way it works. She's gonna be just fine, as so will I.

it's amazing how fast time flies by

Aqui Toy!!

I'm still here, people. Give me a couple of days and I'll let you know what I've been up to.

Till then, take care. I'll be in touch.

The Outhouse

I've never been to the Tremenda restaurant on San Bernardo. It's not that I'm not interested in visiting the place, it's just that I haven't made it a point to stop by. After I received this pic, though, a pit-stop at the eatery is on my to-do list.

This is their restroom....

Pipis Room

It's as simple as you can get.

I love it!

Career Change

A couple of weeks ago, I let you guys know that I was searching for another job....in case the one where I'm at now disappears with the dwindling federal budget.

I figured, since drive-thrus are all the rage right now, I might be hitting up one of those establishments for a job.

But I wouldn't be comfortable working within Laredo city limits. It's not that I know a lot of people, well I don't know them but they know me, so I'm hightailing it to the south....no, not south Laredo, farther south.

I'm gonna put an app at this joint.

Rio Bravo is where it's at, baby!

See-Saws in the Barrio

A fun way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon. Now we all know what we can do with all those tires littering our fair city....

Los Lamerssssss!!!!!

Ya tan ready???  Games are supposed to start next week...

Quien invita?!!!

El Caminito

We'd wake up in the morning, in our three-room home. More often than not, especially during the summers, the windows would be open by the time we'd wake up. We'd stretch and yawn on our full-size beds...that were usually shared with two or three other people. Our bare feet would touch the floor, our linoleum covered pisos, and we'd rush off in search of Mom and her scrumptious homemade flour tortillas.

She's usually let us sit in front of our 24" TV (this was in '87) and we'd catch the morning cartoons. After the tacos of frijol con chorizo, without bathing or combing our hair, we'd rush out the back door; before Mom could throw us in the shower. We'd run, barefoot, down this lil passage way. It connected our lot with my grandmother's property and we'd run over and paste our faces on her kitchen screen door and shout, "Hi, Grandma!!!!"

When I was a kid, I ran this caminito at least seven times a day. Most of the time it was more, way more. One of my uncles would make fun of us, saying that every morning, he could hear us scurrying over to Grandma's house.

It was those times when Dad would sweep the dirt in order to set up the battleground for carnica wars. Those times when we'd play with dirt just cuz we had nothing else to do...but we were never bored. Those days when shoes were really only necessary for school and unpaved roads didn't stop our endless games of freeze tag. Those days when laughter was sincere and genuine and bitterness was still a worlds away.

If only the passageway could be like a time machine, and take us back to the days when having dirt in between ur toes wasn't gross or annoying. I guess the passageway still serves as some sort of time machine, even if it's only in my mind.

Y al Fin......

The newest bumper sticker my car's sportin'....gotta keep it real.

I made it! 30 posts in April! Thanks to all those who tuned in. 

I'll try to work on bringing in posts on a pretty regular basis...remember, I said try.