My Acquaintance

“A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man”

I recently had dinner with an acquaintance of mine. I brought up the issue that I was having difficulty coming up with material for this here blog of mine. He immediately perked up and said "Write about me!" I looked at him and gave a blunt "No." He smiled and said "Why not? You should." I again rejected such an idea and turned the conversation to another topic. We parted ways after dinner and while I was roaming the streets of Laredo on that cold night, I was trying to think about stuff to write about and my mind went back to the topic offered by my acquaintance. As much as I tried to conjure up other ideas, I just couldn't do it and so here is my entry about my dear ol' acquaintance.

In all honesty, I think my acquaintance should've been born with a warning label. If he had, it would've read something like: WARNING: He is not as he appears. It'd also carry one of those skull and cross bones picture. My acquaintance is unlike any other character I've ever met. When I first met him, he seemed normal enough. I didn't know quite yet what kind of person he was. At first impression, he seemed nice, sweet, smart, authentic, genuine, sincere, funny, and smart. After a couple of months, I realized all this was just a facade. I can't really say I blame him. Often times there’s a reasoning behind our defense mechanisms and I've yet to find out whatever happened to this guy and I don't think I really want to know. So this here guy is my acquaintance. He makes life interesting.

--He confuses me with random text messages. It's never the normal boring "Hi" or "Hello". Whenever I see that he texted, I never quite know what to expect from him. Because of him, Google has become my best friend.

--His way of thinking is that of a high schooler back in 1996. I think that's the same year he stopped maturing. Now I like this characteristic very much. Hanging out with him makes me feel like being 'emo' is still cool and that I, at 28 yrs of age, am still capable of acting as such. 

--He isn't your typical guy. He brings up the most random and ridiculous things to talk about. I can certainly say that talking to him has never been boring. His famous for asking random questions like ‘Do you wash dishes?’ or ‘Do you cook?’ Who cares if I can do these things.
--He's narcissism is often mistaken for sincerity. This guy loves the attention. I know, who the hell doesn't, but this guy takes the cake. He pretends to care and listen but in reality he’s just trying to figure out a way to spin the situation his way.

--His calm indifference towards things in his life is something that I envy. I wish I could be so cold. Then again, this is one of his many defense mechanisms. Since meeting him I've been working on mimicking this personality trait. I'm not as good as he is, but I'm still practicing. 

--He brings out all the sarcasm in me. I swear, when I'm around him, I start to hiss and spat all kinds of remarks that otherwise would not be coming out of my mouth. I'm like a cornered cat. I'm not all too sure why this happens but all I know that I can be quite mean. I think one time I even compared him to a serial killer. I don't really know what was up with that. 

--His damn memory is something that annoys the crap out of me. I, myself, can remember the most mundane, random things, but I tell him something and within the next minute he forgets what the hell I told him. I bet he doesn't even remember what movie I asked him to burn me yet he expects me to remember his birth date (which, yes, I do).

--He dislikes the title I have for him: acquaintance. When I call him that, it makes him cringe. He even threatened to walk out on me if I called him that again. I’m sure he wouldn’t do such a thing because he knows better. I know his reaction is a way to see what I tell him. My response is supposed to be "Of course you're my friend! I'm just joking." Instead all he gets is a shrug and "Nimodo." I'm not going to satisfy his need for attention (then again, this whole entry is just for him...I can imagine the size of his head and picture that smug smile of his).

Alright, alright, as much as I want to deny it, my acquaintance is not really just an acquaintance, he's my friend. There I said it. He told me his definition of a friend is: "someone you care about, someone who is special, someone that you can trust." Yes, he's all these things to me. I just call him an acquaintance cuz it pisses him off. My excuse is that I’ve always been fascinated with people that I can’t really understand. With this guy, I’ve had a difficult time figuring him out. Believe me, I don’t spend so much time analyzing people but I just couldn’t help it with my friend. I am fond of the sucker y tambien lo tengo bien chiflado. When he's too lazy to go and pick himself something to eat, I willingly go and take him something. I don't want him starving; he's my source of entertainment. Yes, I know, that says a lot for my boring existence. My friend keeps me on my toes and I'm always finding out new things about him. There are times when I feel like there's no point to this friendship but to be honest, life would be bland without him in it. He’s a unique individual that I like having around and whose friendship I truly do cherish. And when I see him, I'm going to deny I ever wrote this.

Pero aqui te va mi amigo...ya no estes fregando!