Recent Visitor

There are some moments when it feels like it'd be so much easier to not care and just give in. It'd be nice to close my eyes again and just go with the flow. It's something I've done before but it didn't turn out so well last time. The past came to visit a couple of days ago. I had been pretty consistent with keeping it at bay but this time it wasn't all that easy. I gave in. I gave in willingly; it just felt natural...I had done it so many times before. While in the throes of that flashback, life didn't seem so hard. Time had significance again. I gripped it as hard as I possibly could, thoroughly enjoying the feel of security in my hands. But alas, time is very cruel and it finished, just like it always had. As I let go of the vise grip I had on that piece of my past, I realized that it just wouldn't fit in my present life. I was not willing to make the effort to do so. I can't say it wasn't hard to say goodbye again. It hurt. It made me feel guilty. But I was stronger than I was the first time around. I found that I wasn't the same. It's so ridiculous how much I've been tested and tempted but I've gotten through them pretty well. I can say this though, I look forward to when the past revisits. I'll welcome it with open arms...it was a nice ride.