Driving, as with writing and reading, is my escape. I love to drive. It doesn't matter whether it be within city limits or to other cities or states, I love to do it. While driving, I get to take a breather and reconnect with things I lost touch with a long time ago. On these trips, music is my only companion. It's way better than actually having a person with me. Usually they're either complaining about my driving or trying to make small talk and I can't really focus on two things. It's either get to my destination or make intelligent conversation and I'm a fan of getting there in one piece.
My moment this morning, came when I least expected it. I put in a CD that I hadn't listened to in a long time. I kinda avoided it, knowing certain memories were tied to it. I decided the time had come to finally face them head-on. Instead of being filled with longing and sadness, I was surprised to find that only relief and comfort were present. It was one of those moments where everything is crystal clear. Where you wanna embrace the feeling tightly, because you know it's not gonna hang around for too long. I actually wanted to cry. It's been a long time since I've cried, not necessarily because I've avoided it, but because I hadn't actually felt the want/need to do it. I didn't end up shedding a tear but my eyes did get watery...I guess that's progress.
I realized that I am where I'm supposed to be. The situations that I've gone through, the lessons I've learned, the steps I've taken: they've all lead me to where I am now. It's a year. I MADE IT A YEAR. So, the final piece of the puzzle was put in its place today. It feels like I shed my shriveled, tired, dead skin on that highway this morning. I left the old me behind with the cacti and tumbleweeds; I let go of that burden I carried these past 365 days. The walls and barriers that were put in place for self-preservation came crashing down while on my journey to my destination. It was definitely a good morning. Life is good.
*I know it must be annoying already, who cares about the year. Everyone goes through their own situations and face their own demons. The time has come for me to finally face and fight mine. Nothing is simple so I know hitting the year marker isn't going to be my only obstacle in life, but I see that while there will always be hardships, one should never shut down and turn a blind eye to the situation. I have started the healing process. Yay.
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