Sometimes It Hurts

*wrote this a couple of months ago and didn't have the nerve to post it...the storm's passed...I'm better now*

I wanna confess something to you all. It's not easy for me to do this, and it's probably not going to be pretty (que dramatic, no). I've met the guy I wanna marry. I've had him in my life for a while. You know what's the saddest part of this story of mine? He'll never actually be my husband. Curious as to why? I'm the token good friend. (Insert the sad face emoticon here)

It's like a flashback from my high school years. I always fell in love (well what I thought was love) with my best guy friend and I'd always end up having my heart broken because they didn't feel the same way. I was only ever to be the friend. Their confidant, their best pal, just one of the guys...I never really ended up dating any of them. And please don't think I feel in love with all my guy friends, there's only two that really stand out that I ever had strong feelings for. Boyfriends? I only had one. That story's been told over and over...and we all know how that turned out.

I didn't expect to fall  any time soon. Well, it's been two years since my split from my daughter's father, so it's not that soon. What makes this guy so darn special? I have an image of what my ideal guy would be like, this guy fits the bill perfectly. I'm not even exaggerating.

But we can't forget that he'll never really be with me. What do I learn from these situations? I really dunno. It seems to continue to happen to me, so I guess I haven't learned anything. Does it suck? Of course! Am I going to shrivel up and die because of it? Nah. It'll sting for a while but eventually he'll fade away into a memory and one day I'll think about him with fondness...and not with the sadness I feel now.

It's the way of the world. I can continue on and on with my sob story but what's the point. But this guy is special. But I guess he's just not for me.

And here goes the token sad love song. :(